dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
