Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
