I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
True college students do jello shots in the library
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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