I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize