So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
