im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
