love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
