would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Randomize
