I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
