You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You are the jesus of drinking
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize