WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
