At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
