did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
