You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
