Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
