Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
