you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
