I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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