does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I need a beard to bite.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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