my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
