I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
