If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
