Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Randomize
