i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Randomize
