i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
