I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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