worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
