The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
