Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
