On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
