If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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