love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
