Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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