from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
