I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
