Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
