dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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