So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Randomize
