He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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