Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
