whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
