My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
