the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
