I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
