i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
