Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
