My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i think im in europe. pls send help
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