oh god the rape fog is back!
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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