he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
