I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
