so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I supernannyed him into submission
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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