Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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