I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
