My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Dignity is for republicans.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
