let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
