But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
