I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
