so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
bring money and cleavage
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
