i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
