This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
