oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
