and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Let's paint friendship bongs
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
