I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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