Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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