she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize