He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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