3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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