I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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