i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He called his prostate his "boner button".
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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