you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
