I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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