My first STD was from a foam party
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
