I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
