Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
In America we eat man semen.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
