Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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