Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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