those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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