The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
