Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
