Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
