Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
