FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
