idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Randomize
