And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
