I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize