Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
