It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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