Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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