The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
