wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
